


The Invasion of the Dignity Snatchers

by AwayLaughing



Series: All The Days That Have Passed [27]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Developing Relationship, Dorks in Love, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 04:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3106799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwayLaughing/pseuds/AwayLaughing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hyuuga Neji walks into a wall. Hyuuga Neji almost breaks up with his boyfriend over it. Hyuuga Neji, Tenten and Shikamaru both agree, is being an idiot.</p>
<p>Or:</p>
<p>The Door Joke is finally explained.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Invasion of the Dignity Snatchers

**Author's Note:**

> Finally! The Door Joke, in all it's vague glory, becomes much less vague.
> 
>  
> 
> [Day 27 - Jealousy/Insecurity](http://awayandlaughing.tumblr.com/post/68217772129/30-day-otp-challenge-for-the-fluff-impaired)

The sun was not yet up, but that did not stop Neji from rolling out of bed. His left side groaned in protest at the movement after several hours of stillness, but he ignored it, instead running an aggravated hand through his hair as he turned to make tea...

 

and walked right into his window.

 

Stunned, the Hyūga didn't move for a long moment, staring out at the clan lands below him. His house stood at the top of one of Konoha's highest hills, and he could see the river that cut through the clan lands and their private training grounds on the other side of it. At least usually. At this exact moment he wasn't really looking at anything, tired mind trying and failing to process why he'd turned the wrong way.

 

It didn't take long to figure out. Scowling he turned on his heel, glowering at the bed as if it was at fault. The bed didn't react, and he stalked out, feet padding on the nearly unfamiliar tatami.

 

He'd been spending far too much time at Shikamaru's.

 

Granted, the reasons were many and they were good reasons. One, Shikamaru's house was only about a block from everything whereas the Hyūga compound was on the other end of the village. So when he was trudging back from a long mission, going to Shikamaru's was easier than his own house. Secondly, Shikamaru was good company both in and out of bed and Neji enjoyed his time with him, and usually friendlier than any given Hyūga. Lastly, Shikamaru's house usually had food because Nara Yoshino refused to completely cut her apron strings, and Neji's culinary talents were meagre at best.

 

So it was completely valid to go to his house for a quick crash, good company and a fortifying meal. Completely.

 

Neji just couldn't believe he'd gotten so used to it his morning-autopilot was tailored to the Nara's house and not his own. Feeling oddly ashamed, baffled and relieved no one was around to witness any of this, Neji set about making his tea and mulling over the problem. Obviously he was getting too...something...with Shikamaru.

 

Reliant on him, maybe. As a general rule Neji tried to rely on as few people as possible unless it was a mission, and even then he preferred to be the one relied upon. He could control his own actions, after all. As the water boiled Neji resolved to distance himself somewhat. Not entirely of course. Ino, Chouji and Tenten would murder him, but he couldn't see the harm in letting things cool a bit.

 

It was a truly flawless plan.

 

* * *

 

As if subconsciously making up for distancing himself from one relationship, Neji found himself at Tenten's apartment three days later playing supportive friend. Usually Lee took this job, but he was out on a mission and Neji hadn't thought of a good excuse not to when she'd invited him over. And it was nice to see his friend, of course.

 

“I just don't know,” Tenten was saying, rolling her mug carefully between her hands, “I mean...I love him, I really do. And he loves you and Lee, it's almost like he's part of the family but Ayame's been so distant lately." 

"Is she concerned about Ginko's attatchment to us?" Neji asked and Tenten nodded sadly. 

"After his father," she said, "well, you know. I think Ayame's worried that even if I am serious I won't be able to pull my weight, or I'll end up breaking her and Ginko's hearts. Which I mean, I can't really blame her but it's hardly fair for her to suddenly start getting cold feet about letting me babysit!" 

"That's what this is about?" Neji asked, eyes darting to the clock. Almost seven o'clock. "I thought Ayame was trying to break it off or something."

 

“What, no? She cancelled my and Ginko's play date last week but other than that. I'm just worried there's something more to it." Then, she completely changed the subject, as Tenten was wont to do. "Are you supposed to see Shikamaru soon? You keep looking at the clock.”

 

Neji didn't flush, but did cough into his fist. “No. My apologies Tenten, for my rudeness.” She waved them off, leaning on his elbows toward him.

 

“So you and Shikamaru _are_ on the outs,” she said instead and Neji, paused mid sip of his tea.

 

“Excuse me?” Since when did public discussion involve them? "What gave you that idea?"

 

“Did you two fight?” Tenten asked, ignoring him almost entirely and apparently looking to feed the Beast that was Konoha's incredibly efficient - and sometimes classified - rumour mill.

 

“Not at all,” Neji said, “where is this coming from?”

 

“Did you realize a love for Lee or myself and call it off?”

 

That made Neji pause again, eyes wide and eyebrows arching up. “Never in my life,” he said. “Why would you even ask that?”

 

Tenten shrugged, a smile playing on her lips. “Just ruling out both the most and least probable causes for you suddenly avoiding him,” she said. “I'm relieved by the way – you and I could never be.”

 

Neji snorted and she grinned wider before taking another guess.

 

“Did you cheat on him?”

 

Neji blinked. Cheat? “We aren't dating,” Neji said. And if they were, he certainly wasn't going to stray. The very idea rankled, as did the fact arguably his oldest friend even suggested it. Tenten's smile vanished.

 

“You broke up?” she asked and Neji balked, sitting up even straighter. His back protested slightly.

 

“No I mean we have never been dating,” he said and her look of faint horror was quickly replaced with what he could only call fond exasperation. Punctuated with a sigh, nonetheless.

 

“You're being obtuse,” she said, reaching across her table to pat his arm. “You eat out together, you sleep together, you fuck,” Neji wrinkled his nose at the term, “you randomly buy stuff for one another, and you were practically living together this past month. You are, or were at least, definitely dating.”

 

Neji's gut reaction was to tell her she was being ridiculous, but the words stopped before they came out. They had done all that, of course, and the last bit was true. Indeed, it was only a month ago Neji was helping Shikamaru clean house in an attempt to make Shikamaru smile. Neji didn't generally go out of his way to do that for anyone except Hinata and Hanabi, and it had taken him over a decade to get that close to him. Neji sank into the couch, to his back's relief, unsure of what else to do.

 

“Well we never called it anything,” he said at last. “And certainly never declared anything so I couldn't have cheated.”

 

Tenten was the one to wrinkle her nose this time. “So you slept with someone else?” she asked, “was it that asshole from Intel who flirts outrageously every time you run into him?” she asked, “because if so I'm going to stab you. Shikamaru's worth like, fifteen of him.”

 

“Oh a hundred at least,” Neji corrected without thinking and scowled immediately upon realizing he'd said it. “And no, I haven't slept with anyone bar Shikamaru for-" he cut himself off. Years now.

 

Tenten's grin was victorious, eyes sparkling. “Because you love him,” she sang gently, “or at least you _like_ like him.” Neji stared flatly at both turns of phrase and she continued to smile. “Who, in their wildest dreams, would assume you and Shikamaru would A. be the first ones to settle in and B. do it together,” her smiled grew even as his own expression became all the more blank, “remember when you first met him? You told Lee you'd finally found someone even less likely to excel at being a shinobi than himself.”

 

Neji did remember, and also remembered the ensuing spar. And Tenten's painful intervention with her bokkun.

 

“We haven't settled in,” he said though even as he said it he realized with a faint horror he was lying through his teeth. “And nothing happened I just...realized I was perhaps being overly reliant on him.”

 

Tenten cocked a brow. “For what?”

 

“Many things,” Neji said, “I just do not wish to burden him. He's busy after all, he doesn't need me hanging off him.”

 

Tenten's other eyebrow arched to join it's twin. “You are an idiot in the weirdest ways.”

 

* * *

 

Neji managed a full three more days in mission Distance before Shikamaru showed up on his couch. Without knocking. Neji took a moment to study him, sprawled on Neji's low-sitting couch, face first and pillow over his head, clutching it like a child warding off bed-monsters.

 

“You tattered my seals,” he said finally, concern and reproof warring in him. Shikamaru hated climbing to Neji's. Every time he did he had the same complaint. _Why would you take both the smallest house on your clan lands and the only one with eighty three stairs to get to it?_ Today, he did not.

 

“Don't say that word,” he said instead and Neji, settling on bemusement, sat himself on the other side of the coffee table, resting his arms on it.

 

“Which one?” Neji asked, “and are you all right?”

 

“The S word, and no. Kakashi's trying to kill me,” Shikamaru finally peaked out from under his pillow, “don't tell him I'm here.”

 

“He probably know, and if the Hokage really wanted you dead you would be,” Neji said, settling back and raising an eyebrow. “So what did you do?”

 

Shikamaru grumbled something that sounded very much like the words _victim blaming_ but sat up, arranging himself in a slouch that Neji doubted was actually comfortable. “Well, he's still trying decide between going down as history's worst Kage and getting fired and being the best he can be,” Shikamaru said. “So at the last clan head meeting he was asking us what we – as a village – needed to work on and I pointed out our fūinjutsu training and support is pretty much the worst in the world and now I'm in charge of fixing that. I've spent the last five days creating what is essentially a battle plan and I need to present it tomorrow for approval with the Council.”

 

Neji processed the information carefully, reading between the lines a bit. “So you told several of your superiors and elders they were idiots for letting an entire branch of jutsu fall to the wayside and now Kakashi is making you eat your words.” Shikamaru scowled, the barest of pinks scoring his cheek bones which did nothing but tell Neji he was right. “Do you need help?” he asked before he could stop himself. His own fūinjutsu was basic unless it involved locking his windows or packing, and he detested research, but polite was as polite did.

 

“Well, a peak into the Hyūga records could be useful,” Shikamaru said, surprising Neji a little. “But I'll have to ask Hanabi and your various Mains will probably tell me to fuck off. Well, in Hyūga language,” Neji shook his head a little at the phrasing, but couldn't disagree. The Hyūga clan did have records on sealing methods long lost or outlawed, but they were guarded zealously, partly so they didn't have to share and partially as part of their promise to the Shodaime. In exchange for settling in Konoha, Shodaime-sama had allowed their sealing of the branch members to continue, with the understanding other seals with similar power would be locked away and never used against the village. Neji rather thought he should have driven a harder bargain.

 

“I will ask her at supper tonight,” Neji told him, “since it will just be me and my cousins.” Hanabi wasn't likely to say no even with their grandfather breathing down her neck, at least not if Neji and Hinata were present to bolster her, but it never hurt to give her time to think it over without anyone pressuring her.

 

“Family night huh? What a drag,” Shikamaru said and slunk even lower, somehow. “I was going to trap you into telling me why you're avoiding me over food.”

 

Neji blinked in surprise, and then looked down in chagrin. Of course Shikamaru had noticed.

 

“Did I do something?” Shikamaru asked, and though when Neji looked up he saw Shikamaru's usual face – right eyebrow cocked, mouth twisted into a small smirk – he heard the concern he was trying to mask.

 

“No,” Neji said. “The blame is mine, not yours.” Shikamaru's eyebrow inched a little higher in an expression that said _explain_. “I...had an incident a week past and I over reacted.”

 

“Well, that's a great non-answer,” Shikamaru said, levering himself up into a sitting position. “Are you alright?”

 

Neji nodded, not entirely certain how to explain without sounding like a moron. “I...woke up and found I was so used to being in your house I...” he searched for a delicate way to say it. There was none. “I walked into my window.”

 

Shikamaru, to his credit, didn't laugh. “You, Hyūga Neji. Prodigy in all things Byakugan and jōnin for almost eight years, walked into a wall?” His mouth was twitching as he spoke, eyes creased and Neji scowled and stood. Shikamaru stood with him, not letting Neji move before he wrapped around Neji in a hug. “How long did you plan on ignoring me over that, hmmm?”

 

Neji scoffed, trying to twist out of the hug only for Shikamaru to shove him into a wall and hook his chin onto his shoulder. Not an effective pin, but one Neji didn't struggle from.

 

“You didn't think that far ahead, then,” Shikamaru said. “Well that's a relief.” Neji paused at that.

 

“Relief?” he asked and Shikamaru hummed.

 

“Rumour has it Tenten's trying to start a relationship but there's extenuating circumstance and then you started avoiding me and Tsubaki said you stayed at her house and...” Shikamaru shrugged. “It was dumb. Not as dumb as you're real reason, but dumb.”

 

“It certainly was,” Neji said, letting the insult slide. “As Tenten does not like men in any way approaching sexual or romantic.”

 

Shikamaru groaned. “I was almost jealous of a lesbian?”

 

“That you of all people were almost jealous at all is worth laughing over,” Neji said, “though for what it's worth I'm sorry.”

 

“You should be,” Shikamaru said, pulling away. “You kind of ruined everything.”

 

“I what?” Neji asked, taken aback by the words and the gleam in Shikamaru's eyes.

 

“Yeah. I was going to ask you to move in since you were hanging around so much anyway. I mean the offer stands, evasion or not.”

 

“You _what_?”

 

Shikamaru's smile was wicked. “Think about it, the doors are all in the right place and everything.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I went more the insecurity work, partly because they're not really jealous people and partly because I wanted something light hearted after the last two. It was a bit darker before, as I wrote it ages ago, but it's been tweaked into this and I like it much better so voila.
> 
> Jan/2016: edited Tenten's relationship drama to better fit the timeline, also to parallel Neji's a little, though not intentionally.


End file.
